Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Your cock deserves a montage
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
