it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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