Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
