Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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