Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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