Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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