Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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