just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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