what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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