I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Randomize
