I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
