Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
