I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize