it wasn't lemon gatorade
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
