somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
