Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
