I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
