Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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