the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
