party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
