I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
