So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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