Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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