So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
