After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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