Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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