I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
