Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
