lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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