Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
