Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
