I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Pants are for mortals
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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