I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
