Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
