Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
