erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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