You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
BRING THE BAGELS
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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