idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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