Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
