after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
