This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
