it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
