you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize