Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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