she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Watching her eat just hurts me
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
