my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize