Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
