I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
