2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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