do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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