Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
