I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we're making bets on your personal life
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
