who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
