She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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