I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
