I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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