Tell her she can't have a vagina
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
