Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
