I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
