I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
