You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
