So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How does it feel to date your dad?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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