Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
