i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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