this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
