Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
