You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize